stand strong against all the things that you oppose, and support the fulfillment of both your dreams and wishes.
 
And when times were tough, only Those Aren't Muskets! stood by you. Remember? That time? We brought you soup.
 
A vote for Those Aren't Muskets! is a vote for the future of our children, who are also our future.
 
Vote for double-futures. Vote Those Aren't Muskets!
If you don't watch this video, we will cut ourselves.
The results of this band meeting could very well change the face of rock forever.
The greatest minds of the late 70's determine our childrens' futures.
Jeremy expresses himself creatively.
You know, gorillas are smarter than dolphins.
The only house party being described as a series of tubes!
It's glitter! For your vagina!
Jake makes a big speech at work!
TAM! Reveal their homophobia and are never heard from again.
Abe plays a hilarious prank. What a joker!
Get ready for another thundering orgasm because here we go again!
Geoff's big-titted girlfriend ruins poker night.
Friends don't let friends not wear sleeves.
WHERE IS THE GIRL?!
An ace daddy and his dame use her keen gams to put the make on a mug.
Some unexpecting friends are sharked by some poolers. Bravo!
A foolish young druggie discovers his salvation in the unlikeliest of places.
A game among friends takes on sinister dimensions.
The Heavy Metal tale of the hardest son of a bitch ever to walk on four legs.
Our own Michael Swaim gives you all what you so desperately want.

  • I'm Lucky Florida Doesn't Have…

    Or there'd be a whole state of trogloditic sex fiends hunting me down for the horrible things I said in today's front page Cracked article about how…

  • Scientology Explained

    This video I did for Cracked combines two of my favorite things: overdubbing and the Pure Moods song Adiemus. Enjoy the liberal use of both, and Digg…

  • S.M.I.C. III (Live Sketch…

    Long ago (check this blog's voluminous backlog for more details) I cut my teeth on the mean streets of live sketch comedy performance. And that street…

  • Folk Music for the Digital Age

    My uncle, Andrew Calhoun, has finally put some of his music online, and there's no way I can let that kind of joy go un-shared. He's a folk singer…
© 2008 Those Aren't Muskets!
thosearentmuskets@gmail.com